When you do not follow a custody order in Tennessee, you face serious potential consequences. Tennessee courts determine custody based on a child’s best interests and regular, meaningful time with each parent is generally assumed to be in a child’s best interest.
If you are found to be withholding your child from your co-parent, you could be found in contempt of court. The sanctions you face can include fines, reduced custody time for yourself or even jail time.
But what if your child refuses to go to the other parent? This is especially challenging as children get older and become more independent.
For example, your teenager might tell you that they no longer want to go to their father’s house and threaten to run away if you bring them there. You drop them off at your court appointed time but they refuse to get out of the car. Your co-parent accuses you of keeping the child from them and threatens to file contempt. What can you do?
Notify your co-parent
First, it is best to notify your co-parent of how your child feels before you are in that situation. Tell your co-parent how your child is feeling.
Do this in writing so there is documentation. Discuss the situation with your co-parent, preferably verbally or in-person, to figure out the reason for your child’s feelings.
Perhaps it is a reason that can be remedied. Maybe it is a busy week for your child and they do not want to switch between houses. See if you can work out an alternative solution.
This solution only works if you have a trusting relationship with your co-parent. If not, your co-parent may not believe anything you tell them and insist you are trying to keep the child from them.
Keep records of all attempts you make to speak with your co-parent. If you end up in custody court, this will help you defend yourself against accusations of withholding.
Encourage communication
Finally, suggest your co-parent speak with the child directly about their feelings. Encourage phone or video chats. This can potentially help them repair the relationship and avoid a contempt filing in court.