Sensing Something May Be Wrong
After the honeymoon phase of your relationship is over and you’ve spent time married to your spouse, you might start to notice that something seems wrong. The spark you once had is gone, and in its place may be feelings of disdain, sorrow, anger, or no feelings at all. Not every relationship lasts forever, and you may start to wonder if yours will make it or if it will end.
To help you determine if something is wrong in your marriage, here are several signs that may indicate a need to address your relationship.
Lack of Intimacy
While some may assume intimacy refers to things of a sexual nature, the concept of intimacy is so much more than that. To be intimate with someone can mean that you are, in a way, bearing your soul to them and sharing parts of your life with them that no one else may know about. Intimacy signifies a closeness that is unrivaled by any other relationship.
While a lack of sexual intimacy can certainly be a sign that something may be wrong, an overall lack of intimacy may signify that your marriage is struggling.
There is always room for improvement in many areas of life, so receiving criticism, especially constructive criticism, is not necessarily a bad thing. However, if that criticism comes so often that it’s all you hear from your spouse’s mouth, then there may be greater reason to be concerned.
No Such Thing as Quality Time
It’s very normal for a married couple to spend a lot of time together, but it’s more normal for that time to be considered “quality time” that the two of you enjoy. If you find that you no longer desire to spend time with your spouse or the time that you do spend is nothing of substance, then you may want to reflect on your overall relationship.
Keeping Secrets From Each Other
It’s one thing to plan a special surprise for your spouse and keep it a secret from them; it’s completely different to keep finances, conversations, or other serious information from them. When you start building your relationship on lies and continue lying to your spouse over time, that has the potential to lead to a broken path.
Lack of True Communication
Communication is one of the keys to any successful relationship and should go beyond merely talking and listening. To communicate with a spouse is to understand not just what they’re saying but who they are and why they care. If you notice that either you or your spouse seems to stop caring about communication, then that may be time to pause and reflect upon your marriage.
You may notice your spouse starting to engage in behavior that gradually takes away the control you’ve had over certain aspects of your life. Perhaps, for example, your spouse begins to dictate how much money can be spent and starts to track your spending over every little purchase. If you start to feel that you are losing control over things you were once free to engage in, something may be off.
No Longer Love Your Spouse
Perhaps the biggest sign that something is wrong in your marriage is if you start to feel as if you no longer love your spouse, and this love goes beyond the feelings that do start to wane over time. To love your spouse is a choice you must make every single day, and it is a choice to put their needs above your own. If you feel as if you can no longer make that choice to engage in this type of love, then there is a serious need to pause and think about your future together.
Work With An Attorney If It’s Time to End Things
No one goes into a marriage thinking that it might end someday, but the truth is not every marriage lasts forever. Despite your best intentions at the altar, the relationship of your dreams may gradually crumble and break. If you decide that you have to move on and end things, you should begin by discussing your options with a divorce attorney to help you plan your path forward.
At Dowden, Worley, Jewell & Olswing, PLLC, our team understands that divorce is a difficult decision. We can guide you to making your best decision and will help you each step of the way. To learn more or to schedule a consultation, call us at (901) 295-4635 or visit us online.